The OTS on the set of his failed 70's series "Lapel Force"
Shatnerologist Phone Phun!
Well, worthy supplicants. It appears that some of my phone-antics have not gone unnoticed. For this reason, I've made my phone calls available here.
I've documented where it is necessary. Some of those calls have background information that you need to know.
Bob Larson!
Bob Larson is a crooked gospel screamer who hates Leebrals, rock music, homos, and anyone who questions his practices. Unfortunately, Bob has a bit of a past that he tries to keep from his listeners.If you wanna read a ton of stuff about the guy, check out The Bob Larson Fan Club Page.You'll be glad you did.My good pal Ken Smith (author of the page) is a Denver law student who dug up all kinds of dirt on Bob Larson.After reading these pages, you will agree that Ken Smith is the kinda guy you want on your side.
I've made several calls to Bob Larson in the past, but I only started recording them recently.I decided to start recording after Bob and a guest ranted about one of my calls for ten minutes! Damn I wish I had that one on tape.
Living on the run
Bob interviewed a woman who was living on the run because her Satan-worshipping husband had "turned
the law against her".Unfortunately, Bob decided to buy a 1.3 million-dollar Vail mansion a few days
earlier, and he wasn't eager for his flock to know about it.I decided to ask the woman "why don't you
stay at Bob's 1.3 million-dollar house?", thus discovering the wonders of tape-delay!
- Radio version
- Tape-delayed version played to some markets the next day, with a rather funny lapse in continuity.
Virtual Sex - Part 1
After discovering that the tape-delay could cut into the fun of these calls, I decided to buy a little
gizmo at Radio Shack that allows you to tape calls off the phone.If you plan to do phony phone calls, I would
recommend one of these devices.
During a show about "Virtual Reality and the Antichrist", I convinced my wife, the lovely-n-talented Shelly, to call in.Note that the guest started to answer the question, so Bob Larson had to tape delay him off the air too!
A bit of background information: Margo is a woman with whom Bob allegedly had an extramarital affair at the Disneyland Yacht Club Hotel (go here to find documentation).
- Version taped off the radio
- Version taped off the phone (hear the offending question!)
Virtual Sex - Part 2
Virtual Sex - Part 3
This one's fun to hear Bob's sincere-sounding gratitude for my call.Funny, I wouldn't be so loving
if someone kept calling me to talk about my extramarital affairs. Oh well.
Virtual Sex - Part 4
In May of 97, BegginBob had a rally in D/FW.I went, but it was the most boring goddamn thing I'd
ever attended.About 40 minutes into it, Shelly and I bailed. The following day, I called in to discuss the
show.
This call does have the distinguishing characteristic that I said "Virtual Sex with Margo", and it made it over the air!Bob was so busy in his own ranting that he wasn't listening to what I was saying.
Boy, Bob sure has a fragile ego.The topic for the rest of the show basically became "my feelings are hurt, tell me you love me".Folks called in from far and wide to oblige.I was also used as a unique fund-raising opportunity.
Virtual Sex - Part 5
I guess Bob gave up on that fake "it warms my heart to know that evil folks are listening rant".He
just chalks this one up to "personal attacks".I'm really starting to enjoy pissing off this creep.
Virtual Sex - Part 6
For a short while, Bob got on a really weird UFO kick. Bob is convinced that UFO's are actually organic
demon-beings that are sent to confuse and harass man in these end times. . .seriously.Anyway, here's my contribution.
Virtual Sex - Part 7
Once in a while, Bob has on Craig Smith, who is the founder of Swiss America Trading, a company that
sells collectable gold coins. Mr. Smith also buys commercial time on Bob's show, but the commercials do not play
on non-profit stations. For this reason, Bob occasionally puts together a thinly-disguised hour-long infomercial
for Craig's coins.The topic this time was "the stock market, how high can it get?". Shelly decided
to put together a thinly-disguised scam of her own.Enjoy!
We're all adulterous radio preachers on this bus!
Trying to dispel rumors that he is starting to become a wacko religion unto himself, Larson decided
to have on the one-n-only Ivan Stang, devoted scribe for The Church of the Subgenius
as a guest.Being a long-time admirer of Stang and his work, I felt the irresistible pull to call in.
- The entire interview (East US 1-hour-delay feed). Here's the entire interview, including the frighteningly sloppy editing job they did trying to cover up the phone call.
- Version taped off the radio (West US live feed). Sorry about the demonic laughter.My east-coast correspondent who taped this inadvertently left his speaker phone on. You can, however, hear that "adulterous radio preacher" made it over the air.Strangely enough, I was the one with the provocative stuff to say, but Stang got most of the dead air.Go figure. . .
- Version taped off the phone.Unfortunately, I clicked off the recorder too soon.The screener came on to yell at me and to tell me that I would never be allowed on the air again. I clicked the recorder back on, but only long enough to catch the end.She told me that my name isn't really "Richard", and that I've called before as "Michael". Guilty.
I get a shoutout!
A fellow Shatnerologist was inspired after hearing the calls, and decided to do one of his own. He makes
a thinly-veiled shout-out to me before getting himself thrown off the air. Great work!
- Version taped off the phone - We're not sure exactly where he was cut off, but Bob was a little pissed.
TBN!
Healing Weeiam's ailment
The altar egos of the Pope and Popess, Etta and Weeiam Bubick, have had a tragedy. Turns out that Weeiam
is about to succumb to a nasty case of Catharsis Syndrome. Thankfully, the TBN prayer-line can heal over the phone!
Getting rid of Weeiam's Demon
No sooner is Weeiam healed than Etta has a need for some spiritual warfare. Etta gave a call to the
TBN prayer line to try to purge Weeiam's demon, and she found out that whacking a demon with a frying pan just
isn't enough. Special thanks to John Steele for the screaming and pot-banging.
Miscellaneous
This one's rather tame, as the topic was rather innocuous (childhood fears).It does, however, show off the spectacle of HolySnorts(tm), which is a condition brought about when a Shatnerologist is filled with the Spirit of Shatner. I like to think of it as the "Watauga Blessing".
After the Nth day of Baptists bashing Disney, I had to comment.This is from "The Scott Wilder Show", a local Dallas talk show on a religious station. Looks like they forgot to turn on their delay!
Scott Wilder decided to talk about Roswell.How could I resist!
This one's from a thinly-disguised gold infomercial that plays on religious radio stations.For those who don't know, you can probably read about Acapulco Gold here.
This one's from "Money Talk", a financial show on a religious station. I just wanted to see if I could say "flaming Tits of Shatner" on the air.Looks like I was successful. I also tried to say "Halls of Smegma", but I fumbled the words :(
This one is "Point of View", which is little more than the point of view of rightwing host Marlin Maddoux.
This one's from my favorite radio show, "The Scott Wilder Show". They had a replacement idiot to replace Wilder that day, as he was off to Promise Keepers to renew his commitment as dictator of the house. The inimitable Brother Russell called in.
This is "Youthwake", a call-in show for Christian teens. Being a Christian teen, I had to call in.
- The UberPope allays childhood insecurities
- The UberPopess tries to get girls to give themselves over to the flaming te-te-testicles of the UberShatner
- Brother Russell gets "all serious" about the topic
- Do people sacrifice black cats to the UberShatner?
- The UberPopess has a seizure
Interviews!
Well kids, it finally happened.Shatnerology has transcended this humble web page into history with
this article in "The Sunday Mirror", a British tabloid newspaper. It appeared on 6/15/97. Note that there
is no mention of the web-page anywhere.Somebody actually thought this was a legitimate religion!
I got a few phone calls and emails related to the article, but most of them turned to nothing once folks realized that there wasn't really a 1,000 person compound somewhere (but we're still trying).I'm still waiting for a return phone call from that Globe reporter.
I did, however, end up with a quickie interview on BBC radio.I wasn't able to get a broadcast version of the interview, as the BBC signal is a tad weak in Texas. This version is taped off the phone. It's a bit difficult to hear the host, but I didn't give him much of a chance to talk anyway!
I must also apologize for my sing-along version of the Star Trek theme at the beginning. They were playing the theme, and I thought I might be on mike, so I decided to sing along.
